To be or not to be.....

At the risk of sounding about 40 years older than I really am, WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO?? I am starting to sound like my Papa, who at the great age of 90 passed away, bewildered at what the world was like. My father, constantly amazed at the stupidity of people. And alike, I wonder the same thing!

I left the United States in August 2010, after a serious mind game of whether or not teaching was the right route for me. After beating myself up, teaching won, but I was going to take a different approach....I was going to teach abroad! Better yet, I was going to teach in an Arab country, where Muslims are known for obedient children and intelligence. So, I packed my bags and left, with a new hope, a new dream, and an open mind. I figured, by taking this trip, I was going to renew my love for teaching, and what I do so well. In theory, I love the idea of being a teacher, what a teacher can do/offer, and all the creativity a teacher can have (not to mention the SEVEN years of college it took to get me that degree!). But, is it the right pathway?

I am based in Shahama, a small town on the outskirts of Abu Dhabi; it is the halfway point between Abu Dhabi and Dubai. Every morning, I wake up at 5:00, leave by 6:00, pick up three other co-workers, and off we go on our 25 minute ride.

The 25 minute car ride is quite comical...it is actually my saving grace for my own sanity. I don't know what I would do without my co-workers and all of our laughs.

Saundra- probably one of the funniest people on Earth. She has a good attitude about everything, even when she is down. She has a quick wit to her, and can turn ANYTHING into something funny. I must say, she gets me through the day.

Leafy- she is small, meek, and quite. She gets a good laugh from Saundra too....a small giggle. Doesn't have too much to say, just enough....sits back and enjoys the ride.

Elaine- I sometimes think she is from a different planet. Funny, but where she gets some of her thoughts, I just don't know.

But, between Saundra and Elaine, we have four tickets straight to "Funny-Ville."

During my interview, I had specifically asked to be put in a boys school. Back home, in the United States, I had always related better to boys. I figure it is the nurturing part of my personality, so I thought it would be the same.


MISTAKE #1: Being put in a boys school!

In this country, no female should be in a boy's school, only males. From an early age, they [boys] are taught that they are MEN....they can do no wrong. They are the chosen ones, for they will carry the family name, carry the family money, etc.

MISTAKE #2: Not asking to be in a private or international school.

Ibn Sina (my school) is a government school, affiliated with a British provider. They are being re-structured based on the guidelines used in Britain, Australia, and the US. Therefore, since this program is new, so are the concepts of school. (FACT OF THE DAY: as of 30 years ago, the UAE didn't have schools. They would sit under trees and read the Qur'an, their holy book).

So, here we are, three weeks into the new school year. I feel like a new teacher, all over again, multiplied by 150. I feel like the worst teacher on the face of this earth, as if I can't do anything right, yet am working until 2:00 am. I work until the wee hours of the night, for what? The kids don't appreciate my lesson plans, so why should I?

What I thought I had mastered, classroom management, it has gone down the drain here.

The kids are OUT OF CONTROL! They have no respect for classrooms, books, supplies, teachers, their school, etc. They spit (anywhere and everywhere, even on teachers), they fight (NON-STOP....this is the most violent group of children I have ever seen), they are rude, don't follow directions, don't EVER SHUT UP, are illiterate (in both/all languages), are lazy, have lack of discipline multiplied by 250 (in fact, I don't think the word discipline is in the Arab dictionary), systems and processes don't exist here....to sum it up, NOTHING goes right! I have lost all morals as a teacher, turning my back to problems that I would NEVER not fix...just because here, they are normal. The fact that I have to scream and yell, most of my day, because that is the only way to get these kids to shut up. I feel like I am working in a zoo!

For the lack of better phrases, I HATE my life here between the hours of 7:00 am to 1:30 pm, Sunday through Thursday. Any time out of that range, I LOVE it here! I can't think of a better place to be.

Moral of this story, all of the problems that I used to gripe about back home and how lazy I thought American kids were, I would trade all of that in a heartbeat! I would take ANY problem or child from the last 4 years of my teaching, instead of what I am faced with now. I am sorry for all of the bad things I said about teaching in America, all of my complaints toward administration, and all of the students I griped about. (And to my fellow teacher friends, count your blessings, because it COULD be worse!)

So, through all of this, I have decided...

I AM a good teacher! I do the job well and love kids, but teaching is not the pathway I am meant to be on. I don't know what my pathway is supposed to be, but I am really working toward the nursing/hospital administration field. It is going to be a struggle, and I don't know how I am going to get there, but where there is a WILL, there is a WAY.